Hope and Hopelessness!

Hope and hopelessness are two things on top of my mind right now. For me it is in the context of entrance examinations and b-schools. For others it could be the waiting period after a job interview or even after you’ve just proposed to your girlfriend or the Indian team needs 10 runs off the last over to win the match or you made a hellova presentation at work and the boss just said, “Meet me tomorrow.” Or you are waiting for your best friend to forgive you and get back talking, gossiping, bitching... Any time any place where the waiting period starts from a nano-second to days/weeks/months/years qualifies for this feeling to creep in. It can be a fleeting moment but both these emotions might just flood your veins till the final result is out. Its not a matter of life and death... for that particular moment... its more than that!

In a situation like these, there are times when you feel so hopeful... something good will definitely happen. God can’t be so cruel, to not reward you for your efforts. And hey you know so-and-so person who got out of this situation with a result in his favour. Things feel right. It should work out. “I cracked the interview” or “I am sure. She’ll just love the ring”. You can go to the extent of imagining that somehow the tail-ender find a Yuvraj Singh moment and fire away back to back sixes! Miracles happen and all that you’ve asked for is a fair chance... not even a miracle!

And then there are times when you feel like saying to yourself, ‘what the hell was I thinking! I don’t stand a chance!!’ Its like reality dawns and finally you realise that actually speaking, in the real world, the chances of something going in your favour is 1/10000. Which idiot couldn’t see something that’s so disastrously wrong. You start cursing the moment when you actually thought of this whole episode. You wonder why haven’t scientists created a time machine??!! All this is a big mistake. You pinch yourself to check if this is one nightmare.

And when you actually know what happens it is either one way or the other. But the good part is that by then you’ve been mentally prepared to take on anything that happens. You know that you’ll be either ecstatic or distraught! But more than any other feeling, it is ‘Relief’ that is the most satisfying. Being relieved of all the tension is just what you wanted... wanted ever since the commencement of the entire affair. Whatever the decision may be... you just thank heavens that you don’t have to wait anymore! Hope and hopelessness together is one mind-blowing combination!