10 Things easier for married folks in India

After seeing so many friends, colleagues, acquaintances, cousins step into the holy matrimony I can say with some confidence... being married in India is tough. Very tough. And I say this because I am single. At 26, my wedding is priority for my parents for quite some time now. Having said that, it got me thinking.. Being married actually has quite a few advantages over being single. Its like a license to get away with a lot of things.

1. You can 'indulge' if your significant other (s/o) is comfortable with it.
No longer do you need to live upto the 1970s standard of living cuz you and s/o are the decision maker of your house. Wearing shorts, drinking, smoking, partying, dining, vacationing in the Himalayas, the list goes on!

2. Telling recent acquaintances that you are married saves so many unwanted passes.

3. Women can travel to countries like Dubai or Saudi Arabia without hassles. Try that when you have a boyfriend or when you are by yourself. 

4. You have a permanent companion to get bored at other weddings or to take fabulous cross country trips (or they can at least be a backup option)

5. You don't have to listen to aunties at family functions talking about some bhua's masi's grand daughter's cousin who would be a good match for you! (They may start pestering you for having kids, but at least thats in your control.)

6. You can crack non veg jokes (thats the indianised version for dirty jokes) without raising eyebrows.

7. You are no longer treated like a child (even if you are married at 22!) Your financial decisions, or major life decisions are relatively less influenced by the parents.

8. When traveling alone, less number of random men check you out if you are visibly married (mangalsutra, sindoor, ring on the ring finger, etc)
Otherwise, anyone just seems to believe that they acquired rights to scan you from top to bottom.

And anyone you meet can ask you, "Why are you not married yet?"  or a random cop / TTE can ask "Why are you traveling without your husband?"

9. You don't have to answer the question: Why aren't you married yet? Why didn't you find someone in school / college / work / locally / on the street / random cousin's wedding / etc. Its as if our life's mission is to just find that one person and get married ASAP.

10. You have some company to do everyday things: Going to the movies (some movie ticket booking apps actually double check if you ever try to book a single ticket!), clubbing (Couple entry is free! Why?! What wrong did the singles do!), dining (table for 2 gets you the corner side romantic one.. table for one gets you a stare!), someone to indulge you when you have a craving, someone's opinion when you are shopping...

I'm sure this list will have more additions over time.. Feel free to add some in the comments!

Meanwhile... Singles.. I am still on your side and its definitely a good life.. More on that.. coming up soon! :)

For the unhappy soul...

I took up the 100 Happy days challenge on facebook. I am on Day 57 and honestly, it feels fantastic.

This challenge showed me that no matter how irritating and frustrating life is sometimes, there are surely a few things in a day that can make you smile. Life isn't as tough and as complicated as we want to make it. Often, we are so overwhelmed by the problems that we cannot find strength to look for and implement the solutions. Sometimes, we fail to communicate, ask for help. There are times when we are just exhausted by the drama and the endless cycle of bullshit. It is definitely not the easiest time in the world.

That old phrase.. 'The grass is always greener on the other side'.. got me thinking once. If the other side feels that the grass on my side is green, then what in the world is stopping me from enjoying that! 

The philosophy kinda stuck. I decided to see what was green on my end. turns out.. quite a bit. 

Living in a beautiful city (Los Angeles - So much to see and explore).
Saving money for some excellent vacations. (East coast, Vegas, SF!)
Making new friends and learning so much about random things (Did you know that a chinese surname with 2 consonants implies that someone in their forefathers was like a celebrated genius!)
Learning that food is one of the best ways to know about a culture or a person.
Doing stuff alone, may be looked at weirdly sometimes.. but is oddly satisfying.
Realizing the importance of family and well, they understand your importance too
Understanding that boys, all over the world, are the same. Oblivious, Emotionally challenged.

So now, everyday is a choice for me. To brood on what I cannot control OR To accept it, not let it screw my head and show the damn world that I can handle my own shit very well.

2 months ago, I was sad, lonely, in a foreign country, struggling with personal and professional stuff.
I needed something to keep me going everyday. The challenge was just the beginning. I will recommend it to anyone who feels that they simply need something to look forward to everyday. 
It made me realize that I need to be brave and selfish for my own happiness. I am capable of that. And that, it is not a bad thing.

Yet another New Year!

I read somewhere that man is probably the only creature who takes time so seriously.. The birds, the trees, the animals, no one apart from humans seems in a rush to make as much of time as possible. I had never thought about it in such a way. We use time so often to discipline ourselves.. Trains to catch.. Flight schedules, meetings, daylight savings (why not just adjust your schedules to make the most of it?!), birthdays, anniversaries, timezones, alarm clocks. We humans are obsessed with time. And a new year (apparently) indicates a passage of significant amount of time in our lives.

This whole concept of 'the-rest-of-the-nature-not-taking-it-seriously' kinda stuck to me. We do certainly delve too much into the past and hope too much from the future. It does add drama to our lives. 

But honestly, its a lot of fuss about one date. Why can't we make a resolution on any other date. Its gonna be as unsuccessful as all your past resolutions were! We are allowed to party (and not pay exorbitantly) the rest of the year too. Maybe its just a common day everyone decided to take off. You can introspect anytime during the rest of the year too.. Its not awkward. (What is a little awkward is putting it up on facebook for the rest of the world to read!)

I'm not saying I don't like NYE and the celebrations. I like an excuse for a celebration. But I think we have too much fuss around one date. I like to take lessons from nature. Let the world run on its pace and not time it. Let everyone just enjoy life and not run behind making up for lost time (cuz honestly whats gone, is gone.)

As one of my favourite artist pens in one of his songs..

"Well I’m sick of this town, this blind man’s forage

They take your dreams down and stick them in storage

You can have them back son when you’ve paid off your mortgage and loans"

Life doesn't have to be a time-bound plan. It could just be a free flowing river, a fish in the sea, a chase of your dreams.

Make today special by starting to chase your dreams. And then repeat the same tomorrow. And the day after. And so on. I think, life will be one big party then.

Psst: I do make resolutions. This year, its to travel to new places more. Atleast once in every 4-5 months. And I've already started it. Discovering west coast. :-)